A week ago was the day of the dead. It reminded me of Peter; a talented filmmaker, terrific human being and one of the closest friends I have ever known. Sadly, he passed away in late August of 2010 at the young age of thirty-four.
Peter and I met in graduate school and for a time were thick as thieves. We both had shrinks in the family and we'd also been through therapy so we felt instantly safe to share emotional vulnerability. We also connected over our love of nature, music, fashion and great cinema; both dreaming of making an impact through storytelling one day.
Are there times when you feel like satisfaction is fleeting and nothing fills the void of desires that haven't been quenched? There's a point where thinking about our issues is no longer helpful and finding the 'feel good' is the only option. But most of us escape our problems by escaping ourselves in drugs, sex, food, TV, Internet, news and other people. That's becauseit's hard to imagine that we can find satisfaction deep within underneath all the troubles and unmet desires that keep us from enjoying the present moment.Yet the present is where the things we want always manifest.
Yes, we can definitely make time for a one on one, but for now I will say to you what I would say to anyone...
When you hit a wall, turn around. Go exploring. Get far enough away from the situation so you can see the entirety of the blocked area. Instead of climbing over or giving up, say okay to the now and decide there is value in changing gears and gaining new perspective.
Give yourself permission to find catharsis in the process. In art, we become alchemists who transmute experience into self-expression. It opens us up to release emotional blocks, connect with our sense of purpose and fulfill whatever void has been keeping us from looking at current circumstances with empowered eyes.
Most people take action steps in reaction to fear. They make choices to avoid a bad outcome, but taking steps to ‘avoid’ a bad outcome means you expect one. Fear is about negative expectation, the same as anxiety. When we engage life with negative expectations, we set ourselves up to experience disappointment because our emotions are the lens from which we interpret experience. A helpful way to think of your emotions is as a weather system, not a reality. Would you try building a house in a rainstorm? No! You would wait until the skies were clear and the ground dry. ‘The Rule For Engagement’ is simple: relate to your emotions like a temperature gauge and wait until ‘the skies are clear’ before taking action. The best possible...
"I am a manager at a medium sized company and am struggling with the fact that certain members of my staff disregard directions and deflect my feedback. I recognize that I tend to micromanage the team, which sprouts resentment and disrespect from a couple guys in particular, but I don't see any other way of handing the situation when people act incompetent and lack self motivation. Do you have any suggestions on how to better motivate difficult employees?" -- Struggling Boss
It totally makes sense that you're struggling. It sounds like your needs aren't being met and you don't feel very respected by your team. It's not easy managing others and the role itself can trigger negative emotions in certain individuals working beneath you because of the power differential. However, there are easy ways to create a shift in the attitude and behavior of your staff by incorporating...
